How do you make a tissue dance😬😬? Put a little boogie in it.
What did the tie say to the hat😁😁? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
Why are crabs so bad at sharing🙂🙂? Because they’re all shellfish.
Did you hear about the painter who was🤢🤢 hospitalized? The doctors say it was due to too many strokes.
What do you call malware on a Kindle🥴🥴? A bookworm.
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay🙃🙃? Because then they’d be bagels.
How much space will be freed in the EU😄😄 after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.
I tried to win a suntanning competition😬😬. But all I got was bronze.
What did the duck say when it🙂🙂 bought some lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog😁😁? He wanted to get a long little doggie.
I told my friend ten jokes to make him laugh😄😄. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
I stayed up all night and tried to figure🤢🤢 out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
What’s the difference between an 🙃🙃oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.
Why don’t blind people skydive🥴🥴? Because it scares their dogs.
As a scarecrow, people say I’m😁😁 outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans.
How did the hipster burn his mouth😬😬? He ate his pizza before it was cool.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says😄😄, “Why the long face?”
You know why you never see🙂🙂 elephants hiding up in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor🤢🤢? “Make me one with everything.”
How much teddy bears never want🙃🙃 to eat anything? Because they’re always stuffed.
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter🥴🥴? You probably think it’s “R” but it be the “C”.
Want to hear a joke about a roof😬😬? The first one’s on the house.
Why aren’t koalas considered bears😁😁? They don’t have the right koala-fications.
What gets wetter the more it dries🙂🙂? A towel.