I have many jokes about😂😂 unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
How many emo kids😎😎 does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why did the man miss 🤣🤣the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person
Don’t challenge Death to😚😚 a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.
My grief counsellor died😎😎. He was so good, I don’t even care.
You don’t need a parachute😂😂 to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.
I read a book about an🤣🤣 immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.
Life is like a box of chocolates😙😙. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
Top tip: If your wife says: “🙂🙂what would you most like to do to my body?”, “identify it” is the wrong answer.
My wife says sex is even 😚😚better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace😎😎 soon” Man: “Am I dying?” Doctor: “No, your wife is”
I’ll never forget my dad’s😂😂 last words. “Erase my search history, son.”
I tried to warn my son😙😙 about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.
Stop elephant poaching.🙂🙂 Everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled.
Sex is like air. It only 🤣🤣matters if you aren’t getting any.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery😎😎 Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.
I went to visit my childhood😚😚 home, but the people who lived there wouldn’t let me in. My parents are the worst.
Wife: I’m pregnant. Husband😂😂: Hi pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
Son: How do stars die? 😙😙Dad: An overdose, usually.
Son: Dad, if I told you I 🤣🤣was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.
My wife left a note on the fridge saying😭😭, “this is not working”. I don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working fine.
Man: How do you prepare😎😎 your chicken? Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
I was raised as an only child😂😂, which I think was hard for my brother.
I was digging a hole in the🤣🤣 garden when I found some gold coins.