350+ Dark Humor Jokes No Limits For 2024 - Linepoetry

I have many jokes about???????? unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

How many emo kids???????? does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Why did the man miss ????????the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person

Don’t challenge Death to???????? a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

My grief counsellor died????????. He was so good, I don’t even care.

You don’t need a parachute???????? to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.

I read a book about an???????? immortal dog. It was impossible to put down.

Life is like a box of chocolates????????. It doesn’t last long for fat people.

Top tip: If your wife says: “????????what would you most like to do to my body?”, “identify it” is the wrong answer.

My wife says sex is even ????????better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace???????? soon” Man: “Am I dying?” Doctor: “No, your wife is”

I’ll never forget my dad’s???????? last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

I tried to warn my son???????? about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

Stop elephant poaching.???????? Everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled.

Sex is like air. It only ????????matters if you aren’t getting any.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery???????? Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

I went to visit my childhood???????? home, but the people who lived there wouldn’t let me in. My parents are the worst.

Wife: I’m pregnant. Husband????????: Hi pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.

Son: How do stars die? ????????Dad: An overdose, usually.

Son: Dad, if I told you I ????????was gay, would you still love me? Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

My wife left a note on the fridge saying????????, “this is not working”. I don’t know what she’s talking about, the fridge is working fine.

Man: How do you prepare???????? your chicken? Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

I was raised as an only child????????, which I think was hard for my brother.

I was digging a hole in the???????? garden when I found some gold coins.