I gave my girlfriend something🤮🤮 she didn’t expect for Valentine’s day…Chlamydia
Cats have nine lives😬😬. Makes them ideal for experimentation
I live in a neighborhood😄😄 so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ 😎😎mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
I intend to live forever😳😳 or die trying.
Death is caused by😶😶 swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time
I am not afraid of death🤣🤣, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
I’ve spent the past two years😄😄 looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
Remember, being healthy is🤮🤮 basically dying as slowly as possible.
How do you ground a gen z😬😬? Make them go outside and socialize.
Why did everyone want to go😎😎 to Italy during World War II? They were Fascistanating
My grandfather lost his tongue😳😳 during WW2 He never talks about it.
My grandparents fought 🤣🤣during World War II. They ended up getting a divorce.
Why are cigarettes good 😶😶for the environment? They kill people
I don’t have a carbon footprint 😳😳… I walk everywhere
What do you call it when everyone😄😄 makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic
I’ve stopped making jokes😬😬 about Covid. They flu over your heads
I have a joke about quarantine🤮🤮, but I don’t know if you’ll get it. It’s an inside joke.
Boy: “Mom, can I have a dog for😳😳 Christmas, please?” Mom: “No, you’re getting turkey, like every year!“
What do you get when you cross😄😄 a rabbit and a pit bull? Just the pit bull.
What do you call people🤣🤣 who use the rhythm method of contraception?
My wife and I have decided😬😬 we don’t want children. The only problem is we already have three.
I childproofed my house😶😶 Somehow they still got in!
Why did two Asian parents have🤮🤮 an Asian baby? Because two wongs don’t make a white