I begin to read a horror novel in Braille😬😬. Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.
What’s a bad wizard’s favorite😜😜 computer program? Spell-check.
What did the drummer call his😃😃 twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two…
If you see a robbery at an 🥴🥴Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
Not sure if you have noticed😃😃, but I love bad puns. That’s just how eye roll.
You know, people say they pick🙄🙄 their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What do you call someone😜😜 with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
Do I enjoy making courthouse😬😬 puns? Guilty.
My wife is really mad that 😃😃I have no sense of direction. I packed up my stuff and right.
My wife asked me to sync her 🥴🥴phone, so I threw it into the ocean.
What do you get when you cross🙄🙄 a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.
My IQ test results came back😃😃. They were negative.
What does a mobster buried 😃😃in cement soon become? A hardened criminal.
My son has his BA and his😜😜 MA—but his PA still supports him.
What do you call a fake noodle😬😬? An impasta.
Why do melons have weddings🥴🥴? Because they cantaloupe.
Did you hear the rumor about😄😄 butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it!
A cheese factory exploded in😃😃 France. Da brie is everywhere!
I spent a lot of time, money, and🥴🥴 effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.
Why should you never mention😃😃 the number 288? It’s two gross.
My kid wants to invent a😄😄 pencil with an eraser on each end, but I just don’t see the point.
Did you hear about the restaurant 😜😜on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
What did the DNA say to the😬😬 other DNA? “Do these genes make me look fat?”
Why did Beethoven get rid of his😄😄 chickens? All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach…”