Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired. ????????????
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. ????????????
Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies!
I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one. ???????????????
I excel at sleeping. In fact, I can do it with my eyes closed. ????????????
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. ????????????????
You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Because they’re really good at it. ????????????
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. ????????????
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. ????????????
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. ????????
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. ??????????
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts. ??????????
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! ????????
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. ??????
Two fish in a tank, one looks at the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?" ????????????
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust. ?????????????
My boss told me to have a good day. So I didn't go to work. ???????????????
I used to steal soap, but I'm clean now. ????????????
What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny. ????????????
My dad was hit on the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink. ????????
What’s the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted. ??????????????????????????????
My IQ test results came back. They were negative. ??????????
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ??????