Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired. π²π΄π
Iβm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. ππ΄π
Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies!
I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one. π π€·ββοΈπ
I excel at sleeping. In fact, I can do it with my eyes closed. ππ΄π
What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint. π¨π΄ππ
You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Because theyβre really good at it. ππ³π
I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places. π₯ππ
I used to be a baker, but I couldnβt make enough dough. ππΈπ
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. ππ
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged. βοΈππ
Why donβt skeletons fight each other? They donβt have the guts. πβοΈπ
I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! πΎπ
Iβm on a whiskey diet. Iβve lost three days already. π₯βοΈ
Two fish in a tank, one looks at the other and says, "How do you drive this thing?" πππ
I got rid of my vacuum cleaner. It was just gathering dust. π§ΉποΈπ
My boss told me to have a good day. So I didn't go to work. π’π ββοΈπ
I used to steal soap, but I'm clean now. π§Όπ«π
What do you call people who sleep in their socks? Tiny. π§¦π΄π
My dad was hit on the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink. π₯€π
Whatβs the difference between an outlaw and an in-law? Outlaws are wanted. π΄ββ οΈπ¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦π
My IQ test results came back. They were negative. π§ β¬οΈπ
Why donβt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! βοΈπ